Does Anyone Admit That?

I went in for a check-up awhile ago. The doctor went through all the average questions; do you smoke, drink, drugs, etc. Then he asked something that I have been asked before at the doctor but had never really thought much of, "Is there any abuse in the home?"

It wasn't the first time a doctor asked that, but usually I just answer no quickly and move along. Thankfully, I have been lucky enough to have never been in the position to say yes. In that appointment, for whatever reason, the question stuck with me. I wondered to myself if I would admit it if I was in that situation. I asked the doctor (because I am such a curious person), "Do people ever say yes to that question?" I assumed that women (and men occasionally) wouldn't admit it to a doctor. I understand that domestic violence is a very complicated and deep issue in which people only admit and accept help when THEY are ready....not at some random doctor's appointment. Especially considering how short our appointments generally seem to be these days. In and out, right?

To my surprise and DELIGHT, the doctor said that he has many women confess and he starts the process of getting them help immediately. Many...as in women commonly are admitting it, which is the first step as everyone knows.

I cannot describe how happy I was to hear that. Sure, I have never experienced it personally, but I've seen it happen. I've seen friends say, "I know it looks like domestic violence, but it's not. He isn't abusive." They were the classic textbook example of a battered woman. To hear that women are admitting to themselves and their doctor is amazing. It makes me proud for each and every single woman who takes that first step to help themselves. I can only imagine how hard it is....

Lastly, I would like to thank each and every doctor who asks this to every patient, even if it's just out of requirement. What a wonderful place to catch and attempt to intervene. The doctor that I talked to said that often women come to the doctor alone, either for the children or for themselves. Abusive and controlling men do not let them go very many places alone, but the doctor is one place where they feel the woman is okay doing by themselves. The doctor also said that sometimes a man will come along, but that it becomes very clear when questions are asked, even if the woman says no. The doctor can then formulate a plan to get the woman without the man to start helping the entire family.

I'm so proud of this procedure. It once seemed like a tedious question to answer on top of a thousand other questions, but now I see. Now I see that it is worth the time for me to say no because countless women might be helped by it.

So to anyone who is trying to find the right place to seek help for abuse, this is a great opportunity. Go for a "routine" appointment and you will find yourself in helping hands.