Two Cent Tuesday; Someone Else...

 

Someone Else Out There Has It Worse

 

 

When I was five months pregnant with my oldest daughter, her dad more or less kicked me out on the streets. His words were, “I think you need to find another place to live. I’m still in love with my ex.” I was devastated and lost and hopeless to say the least. I lost my love, my support system, and my daughter’s father all at the same time in an instant. I spent many nights asking why and crying until there were no tears left.

Then one day I thought to myself, why are you so depressed? There are people who have it much worse than you! I felt selfish for feeling so sorry for myself when I knew someone out there wished that all they had to deal with was being a single mom.

That lady who’s husband died while she was pregnant probably just wishes he was alive period.

That lady who can’t get pregnant? I bet she wouldn’t mind being a single mom if it meant she got a baby.

That lady who has had three miscarriages? I bet she thinks her pain is worse than not being able to get pregnant because she was so close.

That lady who found out that her child will forever be severely disabled and who was urged to abort? I bet she thinks her life is worse because she has to make that choice.

That lady who kept her severely disabled child only to watch him breathe one breath and then die in her arms? I bet she thinks her pain is worse because he died in her arms.

That lady who just found out her baby was molested? I bet she hates herself for not being able to protect him.

That lady who just found out that her baby was molested by her husband? I bet she thinks her pain is the worst because it was done by the man she trusted most.

That lady who’s husband molested her baby and then killed him?

Well I think you get the point. There will ALWAYS be someone worse off. No matter what. Someone will always have bigger struggles or more pain and anguish than you.

HOWEVER, do not for one moment think that means in anyway that you are not entitled to feel your pain.
Because someone else has it worse than you does not negate your heartache. Because someone else has it worse, does not mean your heart doesn’t hurt as well. You still get to feel your pain. You still get to grieve. It is still your struggle and your pain and your heartache. Yes, it could be worse. But at that moment in time, it is YOUR worst pain and no one gets to take that away.

No one gets to trivialize your battles and struggles….because they are not trivial to you.  And remember, everyone is fighting a battle that you know nothing about.



That's my two-cents,
Christy

Two-Cents Tuesday will be a new weekly column written by founder Christy, mother of two, and author of www.worstmotheroftheyear.com